No matter the grades, sports successes, or other achievements, your children are still deserving of your pride and respect. In other words, even if they are not perfect, that does not make them any less worthy of your admiration. Let us talk about this further.
The support of a mother is essential in helping a young child to have faith in themselves; it is the parent who must first have faith in them.
Parents Should Feel Pride in Their Children’s Characteristics and Accomplishments
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how distinct my two children are from each other. One excels academically and is a sports enthusiast, whereas the other one has experienced some difficulties at school (but is doing much better now) and does not have an inclination towards athletics. Despite this, my pride for both of them is equal; it is not dependent on any external successes or accomplishments.
I’m not saying grades don’t matter, but there are some values that I feel are more important. I’m proud when my kids excel in sports or get an A, and I want them to know that I appreciate their hard work. Yet, there are other things I believe are more worthy of being valued.
I take the most profound and enduring pride in my children not for their accomplishments, but for the incredible people they are. I’m astounded by their kindness, sympathy, charity, and thoughtfulness. I also appreciate their bravery, determination, and the steadfastness of their bonds (even when they fight like cats and dogs).
Taking pride in one’s accomplishments should not be the only way for children to express their pride.
It appears that our society places too much emphasis on accomplishments, which is harming our children. If we emphasize our pride in the activities they can complete, what happens when they are unable to do these things?
For instance, consider a student who has always achieved top marks. Her parents are usually vocal about their pride in her academic performance. However, in one particular year, she has difficulty in math. Despite her efforts, she can only manage a D in this subject, whereas she still earns As in all her other classes.
Even though her parents do not reprimand her for poor grades, she likely will castigate herself. This is because she thinks she is failing to meet her parents’ expectations. She has associated her self-esteem with external successes rather than personal qualities.
Her parents did not intend to make her feel inadequate when she couldn’t reach their expectations. No responsible parent would want to give their children unrealistic expectations and make them feel dejected when they can’t achieve them.
I’m going to educate my offspring to aim for the sky, yet I’m going to guarantee they realize that I will be devoted to them no matter where they come down.
Celebrate Your Child By Using These 10 Ways to Express Your Pride in Who They Are, Not What They Achieve
The current situation with our children’s mental health is of grave concern, so as parents we must strive to strengthen their self-esteem and show them that they are more than just their accomplishments.
Expressing our pride in our children should center on their character and not their accomplishments. To help, some examples have been provided, although they should be adjusted to be appropriate for each individual child.
- Expressing pride in good behavior: “Your kind and compassionate nature, and how much you care for others, fill me with admiration.”
- Applauding efforts rather than final results: “It took a lot of courage and hard work to get through that math course and I’m proud of you for that.”
- Acknowledging sportsmanship: “Your effort and respect for the other team in the game deserve recognition; you should be proud of yourself.”
- Affirming resilience: “This year has been a difficult one, yet you have adapted to the situation with admirable dedication – I’m incredibly proud of you.”
- Praising consideration, leadership, and initiative: “The way you took the initiative to assist your friend was so thoughtful and considerate – you should be proud.”
- Encouraging forgiveness and understanding: “It’s not easy to forgive someone who has disappointed you, but your understanding nature is something to be proud of.”
- Acknowledging honesty and responsible behavior: “Your honesty in speaking to me took a lot of courage and I’m proud of you for taking responsibility for your actions.”
- Recognizing self-control: “It’s admirable how polite and considerate you were in the doctor’s office – that definitely deserves recognition.”
- Reinforcing listening: “Your ability to listen is something to be proud of – I’m really proud of you!”
- Expressing unconditional love: “You should be so proud of yourself and the person you are becoming – I certainly am!”
“I will always have your back. I will be your guardian, mentor, companion, and confidante. I will take pride in you and love you without conditions. For eternity, I will be your mother.”
One can take pride in their children for various reasons apart from simply what they can do. Here are just a few ideas:
- Working alongside others
- Being devoted and dependable to those closest to you
- Exerting a great deal of effort into something (with no regard to the outcome)
- Demonstrating concentration and persistence (even if the finale isn’t successful)
- Being equitable to those you are with
- Demonstrating great creativity and inquisitiveness
- Concentrating on understanding, not just on getting an acceptable grade
- Spending quality time with family instead of going out with friends
- Volunteering around the house without prompting
- Conveying emotions in an appropriate way and not suppressing them
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In essence, just being the amazing kids that they are! If you require more ideas, have a look at 32 life lessons I want my kids to learn. Whenever I notice that they really internalized one of these teachings, I am so proud and I tell them!
According to Sherrie Campbell, “Children should be told that they are loved, that their parents are proud of them, that their mistakes are forgiven, and that their parents are listening to them. Additionally, they should be taught that actions have consequences and that they have the capacity to achieve success.”
It is essential to emphasize that I am not implying that it’s wrong to be proud of accomplishments such as a good report card or a winning goal. We should certainly be proud of our kids for what they can achieve. However, we should also express pride in who they are on the inside – the incredible people they are becoming. It’s not just about rewarding what they have already done.
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